sadistic tendencies

LIFE IS HARD but HAPPY

I just finished watching Kisarazu Cat's Eye and also read Maki's post about their grand high school reunion.. I guess watching a drama about friendship and a post about high school just made me feel this way..

I can't stop wondering what I'm going to be like in 5 or maybe 6 years.. Will I be able to smile like I'm smiling right now?? Will I be the "SAME" Luke as everyone knew I was?? How about my friends?? What would exactly happen when college starts??

There are so many questions that can only be answered when time pass by.. They can only be answered when the time when it would ACTUALLY happen finally happen..

I miss everyone.. my friends, teachers, the halls of the school, the court, manggahan, lobby, and everything and everyone else~ even those who I didn't get along with.. even those who rarely talked to me.. even those who pissed me off, and even the broken air-cons..

That's right.. LIFE IS HARD dakedo (but) HAPPY.. That's why EVERYONE MUST WORK HARD!! ^_^

Hmm.. Soooo, let's see what'll happen 5 years from now~

Ha.. ha.. What?

No more cry!! \o/ Lol, I love this song.. xDDDD

And when was my last update? *views blog* Feb 17.. Haha.. Lol.. 1 month?? It's ok.. ^^;;

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyy.. I've got nothing to say.. Bye bye..

...obviously, I'm bored

Each moment becomes precious..

I won't forget..

With only 6 weeks left, I start to think of things that we've been through..

I won't forget..

All the pain, saddness, happiness, fights, apologies, tears, and laughter..

I won't forget..

I will treasure each and every one of them..

I won't forget..

I will really miss you guys.. These four years that we've been together..

I won't forget..

I don't want to forget..

HanaDan kills.. I'm.. dead

"But for me, the taste of love was the taste of the disfigured cookies you made." -Tsukasa

I am so crying.. T_T;; Damn, I love Hanadan.. ♥♥♥

Hehe.. belated happy birthday to yamappei, Hina, and Sho-kun!! \o/

Ganbatte! I hope that this year would be a GREAT year for Kanjani8 and Arashi..^^ Of course, of all JE, Jpop and Jrock artists out there, as well.. ;)

HAHAHAHA!! I was finally able to finish all of my projects!! Soooo.. the only thing left is to memorize that damn piece.. =_=;;

I miss Jin.. DDDD: I miss Uchi.. I miss Jimmy.. *sigh*

Fangirling never makes me tired..

Happy New Year!! xDDD

Anyway, I'm still smiley-smiley about the NewS [>:D], and imagining Psycho Guy being all smiley-smiley too and planning on doing something to The Idiot.. xDDD Lol.. I can't get my mind off the fact that Psycho Guy once said that WHEN THE IDIOT comes back [and The Idiot already did 8DD], THE PSYCHO guy's going to HUG THE IDIOT so hard.. xDDD

I want those spaces to be filled with the person whom everyone is waiting for.. Come back to us, Princess..^^

And then, here I go crying again.. See? I'm so emotional when I talk about this stuff.. *sigh*

Oh yeah, SCHOOL IS GOING TO START tomorrow.. SUCKS ASS.. Really, it does.. I still haven't done my THE project.. *shots head* I WILL DIE.. Lol, I don't want to do it now.. I'm too lazy and tired.. Haha.. I know that my teacher will get mad, but I bet no one would do it either.. Yeah, we're all lazy like that.. xDDD

Bianca updated her profile!! AWESOME!! She's back!! \o/ I can't wait to see her and amai_chibi tomorrow and FANGIRL about NewS, Uchi, and Notti's return.. 8DDDD And I will tell them about A LOT of stuff that I've learned these last 10 days.. JE pwned my soul these last 10 days.. xDDD NON-STOP.. Hahaha.. And then, I'll talk about the Johnny's COUNTDOWN [which kicked ass], and how sad I am that Uchi and Notti couldn't perform on stage.. DDDD: [EMO~EMO~EMO~EMO] But then say that I don't care if they're "trainees" which are LOWER than JRs and is the level of those little kids who always backdance X_X;;, and say that THEY'RE BACK, and say HOW GLAD AND THANKFUL I AM TO JOHNNY-san that he didn't THROW THEM AWAY.. Then go about how much I miss so many JE people.. [Lol, seeing Jimmy, HaseJun, Toma, and Kazama in old clips made me all nostalgic].. And then I'll fangirl about the SC Christmas Special.. 8DDD And then talk about K8's Winter SP Dramas, and how much I ROFL when I watched DIVE TO THE FUTURE xDDD.. And then talk about K8's HEAT UP DVD, which I had in my files for a long time now, but didn't have time to watch, but then had time when the Christmas break started, so I watched it, and was like in AWWWWEEEE when I watched it, and HOW MUCH I love OhYass, and how I think that Tacchon is super hot and irresistible [and sometimes looks like Gackt 8DDDD].. xDDDD

And so many more things!! See? xDDDD Haha.. Lol, this post is going nowhere..

Anyway, I hope that this year will be a wonderful year for each and every one of us.. ^___^ <333 Once again, Happy New Year everyone!!

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Pimping...

ArashiPh [Spreadin' the Arashi rabu]

MatsuJun_Ph [guilty of being Jun-baited]

Angel_Cafe [Ya-Ya-yah; Kis-My-Ft2; JJExpress]

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Oh, and you know what's interesting?? THIS IS ALREADY MY 99th post in this journal, even though no one reads it.. 8DDD xDDD Lol, I so have no life.. Haha..

JOHNNY-SAN, I LOVE YOU!! xDDDD

IT'S TRUE!! IT'S OFFICIAL!! THE LONG WAIT IS OVER!! Uchi and Kusano are REALLY going to be back.. They'll be in TRAINEE level.. Is that lower than Jrs? O_o;; Waa, I don't care.. THEY'RE GOING TO BE BACK!! *breathing heavily*

I so love Johnny-san!! *cries* I've been waiting for this moment.. I want to see them again.. *cries again*

Oh, NewS is going to come back, too!! 8DDD BUT, they'll only be SIX MEMBERS.. ;__; No Uchi, no Notti.. There's also a new Sayaendou PV.. It has animated NewS in it [just the six members].. xDDD

When I first read saihara's title, I got so excited.. I was like DOKI DOKI DOKI DOKI DOKI DOKI.. and I was breathing heavily.. Then I read her entry, and then I was crying.. Huwaaa..

NewS is going to be in tomorrow's COUNTDOWN!! WOOHOO!! WHAT A WAY TO WELCOME YEAR 2007!! This is what I wished for to happen.. I'm so happy.. *cries*

JOHNNY-SAN, please!! *bows down* I will love you for the rest of my life if Uchi and Kusano and NewS will really be back!! And please let Uchi back in K8..

*cries again*

THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR GIFT!!

THIS IS THE BEST NEW YEAR!!

...and for some reason

There's this sound inside of my heart.. I can always feel it.. always hear it.. These intense waves that don't seem to vanish.. It continues pounding in my heart..

After a while, I finally found out that it's your voice.. calling my name.. over and over again.. I won't ever let go of your hand.. I'll hold it tight, and hold you tight..

...

I keep on having the same dreams.. over and over again.. And every time that I wake up, I always end up crying.. Why can't these memories vanish?? Why can't the PAST leave me?? Why can't my love for you fade away??

Those old times.. it hurts my heart, and I feel like sqeezing it hard to stop it from hurting.. Why can't I stop draming of you.. of how we were.. of how I felt..

...

It's been a long time since that day that we both said goodbye, but still.. I can hear the same voice inside of my heart.. why??

~//~

...I feel like crying right now *sigh*

:D ~ D:

I don't know if I'm going to be happy or if I'm going to be sad.. >__>;;

We won the debate, and I'm happy that we did.. I wasn't awarded with any special awards, but Ma'am Hermie didn't say any bad comments about me.. Hehe.. When Ma'am Hermie already said the winner, I was so relieved.. *phew*

It's also our last day of school this 2006.. 8DDD IT'S OFFICIALLY OUR CHRISTMAS VACATION!!~ YAY!! We had so much fun with the games earlier, and the food was absolutely delicious.. *drools* Kyahaha..

*cough cough* My throat hurts so much.. >__>;;

After the party, Bianca, Angela, Via, Rojean, and I went to the mall to get our picture taken.. We were so happy, 'coz it was such a long time since we all went out.. We bought some drinks, and sang some songs at the Karaoke Center.. 8DDD [That's why my throat hurts so much.. =_=;;]

I LOST MY BAG.. X_X;; Before singing at the Karaoke Center, I noticed that my bag wasn't anywhere.. We went to the place where I placed it, and obviously, it wasn't there.. ;~; My bag with my money, my new cellphone [and at last I got a new one, but OMG, I don't have a cellphone right now AGAIN!!], 3 gifts that my friends gave me, that awesome Christmas card that Ube gave me, some make-up, a new perfume, some important papers, and my favorite pens.. X__X;; And that bag isn't even MINE!!

*sigh* I feel so down right now..T_T;; Back in second year, I also lost my cellphone during this time of year [near Christmas], and the bag that I was using at that time wasn't mine, as well.. =_=;; *sigh* *cough cough*

For now, I'll cheer myself up by watching some videos..

Oh, and 'coz I have no money, and my mother isn't going to give me money [She isn't really blaming me for it, but I know that it's my fault, but since she just got me a new phone and IT GOT LOST, she said that I should cut the expenses..], I won't be able to have fun this Christmas.. No going out with friends, no nothing.. *sigh*

Anyway, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

FTW~

I am sleepy.

I am tired.

I am stressed.

I am hungry.

I am thirsty.

.....................................

JE IS STILL TAKING OVER MY LIFE..

^^;;

I haven't posted here for a while.. It's not like anybody cares.. =p

Anyway, Pacquiao won!! Hahaha, and because of that.. I give you this icon!! Mwuahaha! xDDD Kai.. <33

Yeah.. Pacquiao punch!!

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Lol.. Reita.. cute.. xDDD

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"No, I'm seme!! >:O"

[all icons by: m00n13 @ planetarium_ HERE]

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...and Koki's wearing a skirt.. 8DDDD /random

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....and many people say that Sam Conception looks like chibi Ryo-chan.. O__O;;

Here's Ryo..

*click the pic for full view*

[credit: ffyunie HERE]

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Here's Sam..

*click the pic for full view*

Tired of using PS, so edited in MSPaint 8DDD

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Do they look alike?? O__O;; If you ask me, my answer's "NO".. xDDD

I think Sam is 14 now, and Ryo was 15 then [orange shirt and his hair without gel].. 8DDD OMG, Ryo looked so much younger than Sam.. Damn, Ryo looked like he was 12 or younger, even 10.. xDDD Well, yeah.. I think Ryo only looked his age around 3 years ago.. 8DDD Hahahaha.. He was 20 when he hit puberty.. Haha.. [and yeah, Ryo is older than Pi, but Pi looked A LOT older than Ryo then..]

It says PINK, but it's ORANGE.. =_=;; xDDD Ryo-chan.. X3

//~

Hahaha.. Anyway, I'm almost finished with organizing my files.. I think I need another external HD.. =_=;; I just labelled my CDs, and took screenshots of the contents of each CD..^^ Well, I just typed out some of 'em because there were just few files in them.. *phew*

I actually don't want to save IMPORTANT files in my HD [C, D, E, and F].. I just save all of them in my external HD.. *shrugs* And all of my new files are IMPORTANT.. 8DDD That's why all the free space there are almost already gone.. OMG.. >_>;;

Maybe I should ask for another external HD from my father for Christmas.. 8DD Yeah, I should.. Haha..

//~

I hope those two don't grow up anymore.. >__>;; They're already FINE like that.. If those two do grow up, please be more se.... *WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING* O___O;; >__>;;

Yamada and Yuto look so tempting nowadays *__* They're just 13, they sing, they dance, and they act.. xDDD Awesome.. Yeah, well, JE boys are like that.. Hahaha..

Yamada Ryosuke, 13 years old.. 8DDD

Seishun Amigo..^^

Yuto & Yamada.. I just love this shot at the ending of Seishun Amigo..^^

Sorry, I wasn't able to do some great screenies of Yuto [solo].. =_=

Anyway, here's a pic..^^

8DDDD

Yabu and Hikaru weren't like that when they were 13.. xDD Yabu and Hikaru were CUTE.. Yuto and Yamada, on the other hand, are cute AND sexy.. 8DDD *STOP THINKING LIKE THAT!!!*

//~

Oh, btw, Ryutaro's little brother's so cute!! xDDD

[iekodanus @ yamamototo HERE]

He danced in their 2006 Johnny's Special Medley in MS last November 3.. xDDD When I saw him dance with Ryutaro, I really thought that he looked like a more CHIBI version of Ryutaro.. xDDD HOMG.. Cute..^^

Look, he's so small.. 8DDD

His name's Shintaro, by the way.. 8DDD

//~

And this one person is trying to fool me.. =_=;; She has two accounts in YM, and she IMs me with those.. When the first one [let's just say "ACCOUNT A"] added me, she said that she knew me, but I didn't know her, so I just ignored her.. *shrugs* Then, when the other one ["ACCOUNT B"] added me, she talked to me, and was like, "I know you, do you know me?" Something like that.. Then, when ACCOUNT B signed out, ACCOUNT A signed in, so I was like.. *rolls eyes* Then, she asked me if I knew *insert name of ACCOUNT B here*, and I said, "NO, I don't.." Well,  don't really know her.. xDDD ACCOUNT A kept on asking me if I know ACCOUNT B.. =_=;; It's so stupid.. If she's trying to fool me, she should at least do a good job doing it..

*cough* *cough*

//~

Some more piccccus.. 8DDD Click them for FULL VIEW..^^

Inoo, Yuto, and Arioka.. Cute.. xDDD

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Taipi is love here.. <333 I'm beggining to love him.. xDDD
[credit: kakitani]

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Kis-My-Ft2 + Question?.. SOUL meets soul.. *___*

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ABC + JJExpress.. Fumito's looking somewhere else.. xDDD

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Arioka and Tatsuya..^^ 'Coz I love their poses at the last pic.. 8DD Tatsuya looks like he's pissed.. Haha..

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Yabu, Hikaru, Shoon, Taiyo..^^ xDDD Ya-Ya-yah.. X3

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and last...

He looks so happy here.. ;~; This was during the press con.. >__>;; *cries* I miss Jin..

[credit for most picccus: boys_paper]